Today (as I
write this) is the 14th anniversary of my father’s death and it
gives me one more reason to think about death. I don’t know what it is about me
but I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t for one reason or another reflect
on my own mortality. Sometimes I wonder if it has to do with my lack of
religious belief. I don’t believe in heaven, hell, or an afterlife so I know that
this is it, my one shot, my only life. I also know firsthand that life can be
cut short with one sister dying at one month of age and another at 15 years
old.
You would think that with that
attitude and experience I would be one to live life to the fullest.
Unfortunately you would be wrong because I just live life on cruise control and
at this point I’m closer to the end of the road than the beginning. Don’t get
me wrong, it isn’t and hasn’t been a bad or too bumpy of a ride but on the
other hand it hasn’t been all that great either. Sometimes it feels like I’m
spinning my wheels, driving in circles, stuck in a rut, or just plain not
getting very far. Other times I wonder how did I get here so fast and who the
hell was driving?
To continue with the driving
metaphor, my life’s always been like bumper cars, go until you hit an obstacle
then just head off in another direction until you bump again. That’s been the
dance of my life, cruise – bump – turn –cruise – bump – turn, over and over. What
I never thought about while cruising down the road was that some cars come
equipped with GPS. All you have to do is enter a destination and follow it
until you get there, yea right, life is that simple.
My problem is that I’ve always known
that the final destination is just that, and I’m in no hurry to get there so I’ve
just been taking a leisurely drive, sometimes taking the high road other times
the low road. Nowadays that drive also includes the “Digital Highway” so let’s
explore that road a little as well.
Recently a good friend
of mine’s older sister whom I’d known since I was a teenager died of cancer.
She was a wonderful person and even though I hadn’t seen her in years I kept up
on her with Facebook. Last year when she was diagnosed with cancer she posted
it on Facebook and continued to post about her treatments and how she was
feeling. This spring she posted that she had decided to stop treatments and
just wanted to enjoy her family and friends in the time she had left. On August
20th her brothers posted on Facebook that Mary had peacefully passed
away and that’s how I learned about it.
That whole experience seemed kind of weird to me because
traditionally death and dying has been mostly a private thing for the family
and close friends. Now with the advent of social media it has become much more
public. I’m not just talking about a natural death like Mary’s but also all the
crazy police shootings posted from cell phones, the child refugee drowning, the
collateral damage from bombings in war zones, and even the terrorist beheading
videos. It feels like its nonstop death 24/7, no wonder I’m always thinking
about it.
Another weird thing about death and social media is what does
or doesn’t happen after you die. Since I started on Facebook in 2009 I’ve had
four of my facebook friends die. Two of them still have profiles up, one of
which reminded me to wish her a happy birthday this year even though she died 2
years ago. The other 2 have disappeared as if they never existed which is also
kind of strange, in the conversations archives they are just labeled as a faceless
“facebook user”.
To view the column in it's original form go to page 17 of the following link. Winters Express 11/17/16
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