A Tribute to Tomas and all his Kind

             Tomas was a special guy and he just died. So why do I say he was special, after all he was just a cat. I guess first I need to qualify myself because I’m a cat person. In this world there are basically 3 kinds of people, Dog People, Cat People, and the “I don’t want to get attached and feel pain people”. As a kid we always had cats and instinctively I knew how to rub them the right way. I think cats are where the “rub me the wrong way” saying comes from because there is a right and a wrong way to rub a cat.

            Growing up I learned many of life’s lessons from my interactions with cats. I learned about life and death, love and loss, as well as responsibility and irresponsibility. Learning about life I saw cats having sex and kittens being born. At 9 years old my first up close experiences with death was finding one of our cats dead after a family vacation, I also learned about irresponsibility because my parents had left them to fend for themselves while we were gone.

            I learned about unconditional love because that’s what cats and kittens give you when they are in your lap purring as you gently stroke their fur. I also learned about loss when my parents got rid of “Blacky” the cat that had survived the family vacation and had made the move from Kansas to Michigan with us. They got rid of her because they found out that my sister and mother were allergic to cats. I’m still not sure what lesson I learned (I don’t think it was a good one) when within a year we got a new cat and they got allergy shots. During my teen years the losses mounted and it seemed like I was always the one balling my eyes out while doing burial duty in the back yard.

            All that loss along with seeing my parent’s reaction to the death of my sister and then their divorce made me decide to be that 3^rd kind of person. If I didn’t love I wouldn’t get hurt or feel emotional pain. That’s how I lived my life for a few years, no pets, no serious relationships and no pain. Eventually I realized that hurt free and happy aren’t the same thing.

            I started dating, then living with, then marrying Diane who came with 2 cats. Diane has the biggest heart of anyone I know so I wasn’t surprised to come home from work one day and find a beautiful White Sheppard in the yard. My first reaction was “We’re cat people, we can’t have a dog”, but then she said “but its blind”, what could I say but OK. We then became cat people with a dog. “Kudzu” the blind dog was the biggest emotional ride of my life, the frustration of dealing with her handicap and the shear joy of seeing her loving life opened my heart forever. Unfortunately she also had a physical problem that caused seizures and after only a year and a half we couldn’t control them and had to have her euthanized.

            A month later some friends found a flea infested Brittany Spaniel running along the road and “Dana” came into our lives to fill that empty hole in our hearts. We got her a companion “Emily” because dogs need a pack and cats don’t count. Our family pack lasted for almost 20 years but now we are just cat people again.

            So all this brings me back to Tomas. Over the 30 plus years that Diane and I have been together a multitude of cats, the 3 dogs, and even a few birds have come and gone. Every one of them with a unique and distinct personality, but Tomas was the most unique of all. He showed up in front of our house 5 years ago, full grown, talking this little cat talk, tail held high and happy as a cat can be. Basically he just moved in and said I love everyone, he would run out to greet anyone that was walking by. When we would come home, walking up the driveway he would run in front of us then drop and roll so that you would almost trip on him. He slept every night on the bed snuggled up as tight to Diane as he could, then in the morning would just lay there all stretched out while the other cats got all excited about breakfast. I guess all I can say is that he was the happiest cat I have ever know and it’s a huge loss that his life was cut short by someone driving too fast and not caring about all the living things around them.

To view the column in it's original form go to page 11 of the following link. Winters Express 9/8/11